I consider myself to be a “Satisfied Single”. I have not only learned to embrace being without a mate but most of the time I enjoy it very much. I can spend Friday nights, holidays, and birthdays companion free and be okay. I can be heard on a regular basis boasting about the freedom I have to come and go as I feel, cook or not cook, and keep a neat and tidy space with very little effort. I can share in the joy of my (male and female) friends who are in happy, healthy relationships. I’ve also been known to encourage others to enter into relationships, even playing matchmaker for others on occasion.
Single Girl Moment
Today is Sunday, which for those of you who know me means I spent the hours from 2-5 pm as co-host of the Tiona B Show on WPB Radio online. It was a great show entitled, “I am my brother’s keeper”. We talked about men, specifically men of color in a positive light with 2 great guests. Our in-studio guest brought along his wife, who just seemed to beam with love as she sat quietly yet proudly beside her husband. The show’s host Tiona Blyden also spoke lovingly about her husband David, who is one of her greatest supporters. As a “Satisfied Single” these kind of experiences always give me hope for what is waiting for me in what I believe to be my not so distant future. I already have a good idea of the kind of mate I will one day be blessed with. He will be God-fearing, kind, caring, and supportive yet strong and assertive, with great leadership skills. A big part of being a “Satisfied Single” is knowing that someone greater than anyone you’ve ever had in your past will one day be a part of your present. Sounds like I’ve got this single thing down pat right? Well for the most part I do but I have my moments. Moments I like to call my “Single Girl Moments”, moments when the satisfied single woman in me takes a back seat to the girl in me. The girl who unlike the satisfied single woman has little patience and wants what she wants when she wants it. As I drove home tonight that girl suddenly took the wheel. Even in my present single state I have the privilege of having some really great guys in my life. Some of them I’ve dated and would never date again, some I’ve never dated because I’d rather have them as friends, and some I would date but just haven’t for one reason or another. There’s this one in particular that I have a real soft spot for and I know he has one for me as well. I also know that our timing is as off as a clock with a dead battery. Satisfied single me loves to hear from him every now and then but isn’t pressed when I don’t because I love my life regardless of how often his presence is in it. Maybe it was all the “my hubby rocks” in the atmosphere at the station, maybe it was my natural inclination (satisfied or not) to want to share the good days with someone, or maybe I just missed him. All I know is not being able to see or talk to him at the very moment I wanted to sent me feelings 1st into a single girl moment. Tears streaming down my face, throwing a full fledged (internal) tantrum complete with rants… “Why can’t I have a great guy to support me?! I know my guy is out there but where is he?! God, you know that my heart’s desire is to have a great husband. Your word says that you will give me my heart’s desire, so where is my husband?! I’m doing it your way (celibate), now where’s my husband?!”. This went on for about 20 minutes of my 40 minute ride home. Then I came to myself and my senses. None of my feelings and not even my rant were invalid but they were a waste of 20 minutes that could have been spent in a much better space. A space of gratitude for being the woman who I am and having the people I do have in my life because Lord knows I could have much worse problems than being temporarily without a mate.
Some might be surprised to read what I have just shared, partly because of my personality type and how I am most often perceived but mostly because I am a relationship expert. Being a relationship expert does not exempt me from anything but it does provide me with an advantage when it comes to dealing with certain things. Despite my single girl moment, I am still a satisfied single who enjoys the privilege of being single more often than not. Today’s single girl moment was just that, a moment. It was not my 1st and it probably won’t be my last before I am Mrs. Merrily Married and then I’ll probably have different moments. It is my hope that in sharing this, some woman will have a better understanding of what are hopefully moments in her single season. That she will honor those moments and strive to be satisfied more often than not. That like myself she will enjoy her space, love the one she’s with to capacity, and upgrade herself while she awaits her best mate.
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